It is the extraordinary sensory quality of his prose that enabled Faulkner to get away with writing the longest sentence in literature, at least according to the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records, a passage from Absalom, Absalom! I have a guest rant/fake commercial written by "Meg" (who is once again banned from accessing the almighty Internet). Right now. He sneaks into neighboring homes, and takes clothing, wrapped christmas presents, and anything he can find. Advertisement. So crazy it just might work! Ormaybe it's the feather off of the cartoon owl from the tootsie-roll pop comercials (onetwothree..*crunch*). Unfortunatly, I once again am devoid of a topic. And then I'll be writing for me again. Yeaha topic would be good. What does it sound like? And now, a word from our non-existant sponsor. Yes. Maybe you're lost. I repeat, lock all you doors and windows, this is it. this is not a long paragraph it is multiple, I am just not as pretty as my friend Haylee she is fab so give me a chance for this job. We become indebted to. Nor can I find it on any search engines. Start typing without any idea about what it is I intend to say. Remember: if the show sucks, it's their fault, not ours! . Perhaps a nice, soothing mistrust. And not so pissed at my weird family. In the mean time, I'll just sit here and type with my eyes closed. As long as you don't mind a few more couch potatoes. That means I really can justify claiming to have two and a half readers! **** MY NAVEL ITCHES!! There's even a money back guarantee. So next semester I'll still have work, AP Lit, and AP Physics. *content sigh* There we gothat's much better. NowI bet you're wondering why I don't just wake up a few minutes before I have to go. By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the. You exploud. It's hard to type because of the bandaid on my finger. Meanwhile there is a vast conspiracy at school to keep me ignorant about my pawn roll in the other vast conpiracy by keeping me vastly bored. What line of buisness, do you ask? Get the free Lil' Ball for your traveling needs! It's early. I probably won't later. You know the one. (Absolutly nothing about that statement was sarcastic) As you can see, I love my families outings(Not unless you're blindor stupid) &#!#%&&!!! She also is the goddess of red jello. Good for it. (In a very vast sense) And: did you ever notice that the word "conspiracy" is vastly similar to the word "constipation". But then I listened to some of the new music I put on my site and mellowed out. My school system is stuck in the pastand formal attire meansa dressa white dress(for those you who never bothered to find outI am indeed female). Because I am easily amused and have lots and lots of time on my hands. He can deactivate the machines, (squidies) but at great personal cost. from graduation. Seeya! I even came up with a mathematical explanation for why gambling is fun (while I was eating a hyper-speed dinner, thinking nothing of getting back to the slot machine). Physics is so FREAKIN' hard! Called the Boolean Pythagorean Triples problem, it was Solve Now. Or not. aSk anybody. Say it. afterwardsthey turned off the lights. Because they put subliminal messages in them, of course! See? Why can't I? Hmmmmmmonkey. If you're asleep, the fire will wake you. The inanimate world, on the otherhand, expects nothing of you. All they do is fill out the TAB form and leave. Though the record has been broken, Faulkner's legacy lives on. Which is what I'm about to do. Okay. It's not FAIR. Get the best cultural and educational resources on the web curated for you in a daily email. In other words, they take all that extra "stuff" out to make it pure. In this article, the reply Naturally, I had many mixed feelings, primarily disgust, as I have not voluntarily eaten a Cheez-It in quite some time. HI! the longest thing that I have ever wrote was a 600 word paragraph and I just wrote that. I can't think of anything!? All this information and more is yours for the low, low price of 5 payments of $29.99! Because nature supposidly abhors a paradox. On video games. That doesn't make any senseyou can't BE something abstractcan you? Okay, fire is loud. But I must. I pity them, I really do. Everything is fine. Yeah. It's annoying. That way all the members (what members) can print out a copy of it for themselves (if they didn't get that copy in the mail) I guess I'm done for the dayI know. I'm like the little engine that could. Hey, it's the 3 r's! HenceforthCode: 666 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that under no circumstance will the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (guess who) be forced to wear anything other than a t-shirt and preferably black jeans. or possibly "Who or What is Kodak". Although I tell you she can't possibly be normal, since she hangs out with me. I'm just rambling. Me and Josh ate lots and lots of sugar, and it's late at nite and everything is funny but we can't laugh 'cause everybody is sleepin' so it's even funnier but ever since we drank the water we sobered up even though we weren't drunk but we ate sugarlots and lots of sugar. It deludes all of American's sweet, innocent, candy-loving children into thinking that a cartoon owl is smarter than they are! My sister is a big believer in the memorization system. *cough*She's winning*cough* But that's just because I have so much to do to mantain and update this site, I rarely get a chance to just sit here and type. Sowhen the weekend rolls around, I'm fairly exhausted. At least it's over. Hey, I'm back again! It must have cost a fortune to feednot to mention the mess. Grapes are used to make jelly, jam, juice and raisins. I can't really work on this site even though I now have a more in depth understanding of variables. It does all my Math for me. You don't have the best life of your counterparts, but you don't have the worst either. Not only that, but how do you know that YOU actually exist? We could all breath a sigh of relief as parents kept their children inside, away from the evil truck drivers and near the T.V. Now, I'm sure you've at least heard of subliminal messages , right? You don't belong here. Even though air is light, that much air adds up. I'll just have to do the very best that I can. These "faeries" sprinkle your food with highly toxic "age dust" and ruin a perfectly good four-year-old meatloaf. I'd probably lose money, but the concept is interesting. I see. You would have to have several characteristics that I possess. I am writing to let you know that I have received an email from {name of recipient}. Okay. WANNA SEE ME PULL A TAPEWORM OUTTA MY ****!! Furthormore, is it considered accepted behavior to talk to these dead reptiles, in a cooey, baby talky kind of voice? That means my pointless obsession has actually entertained someone besides me! Now, correct me if I'm wrongbut Iraq? Thank you Squirell. My mom and my stupid little 10-year old sister loves it, though. You are deviousI give you that. 'I found nothing else to do but to offer him on of my good Swede's ship's biscuits I had in my pocket'" And we're supposed to be GOOD in English! If you don't believe that all that air has weight, try going into space sometime. *normal voice* Today I have a very important to discuss with you in this: PERFECTLY NORMAL PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT. Whereas I'm more into the whole ranting and raving stage right now. I, personally, am obsessed with, kitties, bunnies, bats, this website, drawing, making intriate little patterns with strings, doing mildly repetitive activities, being weird, apparantly making lists and cheeseand chickensand flame. Seeya! I'm just bored. No? -works best on pc/laptop. I'm back. I think it's pretty funny. (Although my mother does have a "earring tree".) Code: 843 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook states that in no way is the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (guess who?) i called home, and waited another hour for my ridetraffic to the school was one way. I recently learned in my EVIL Physics class that on average, humans lose one inch of height during the day due to gravity pushing on their spine. Well, I better leave before I go on and on about more "reality" theories. If they're anything like my sister, I'm movin' to Canada. Gone would be the days when parents told children to play outside, it's a nice day. Now I do. I think I hear a monkeyOkaynow I'm back. Those few who actually could think and avoided the sun were considered to be outcasts. Pastebin is a website where you can store text online for a set period of time. Did I resume asking retorical questions? Of course, if everything is realthen the Universe is pretty contradictory. I tell people I know about this site, but they either ignore this page, or don't even bother coming to the site in the first place. Here I am, trying to get a decent nights sleep and there's this green light that periodically blinks to red directly in front of me. Maybe I subconsiously DO know what I'm doing here, but refuse to admit it to myself. Receive our Weekly Newsletter. Stock up now with our Valu-Pak to recieve 3-metric tons of Ketchup, all for the low, low price of your brain, since you're obviously not using it anyway. Which is bad. 11. Until thenI have absolutly no imaginary money. And then go door to door distributing it. Uhdon't think soNumber Four: I could have learned to drive. Oh, and all those weird squiggly lines and symbols, those are supposed to be apostrophes, but neopet's code is weird, and I'm not gonna bother to edit it. It's okay. Today I had the misfortune of playing a Treasure Planet game on neopets.com It was terrible. I've spent the past three years of my life EXPECTING each semester to be like a mini-year. Mar 25th, 2014. I ended up writing things during the time of night when EVERYTHING is hilarious, including the word sheep. It tells me stuff like: "Warning: More Solutions May Exist" and "Questionable Accuracy". It would hum, and hum, and humand then mercifully die. Not that I know anything about medicineor cancer for that matter. Sure, my TEACHER said that was because I was doing the problems wrong, but once I'm the Ruler of the Laws of Nature, I'll change the problems so that I'm right! This highly experimental and abstract piece was published in a series of volumes beginning in 2007, with the final 19 volumes being published in 2008. Unless we spray-painted the snow purple, too. Anyway, yeah, I'm a furry, but since I'm a young furry, I can't really do as much as I would like to do in the fandom. (Think of the fake-looking Star Trek aliens). It only takes me a few minutes to get ready, then I can go back to bed. Once upon a terribly dreadful time, there was a small cat-licking bird that lived on a lane by my house whose name was Charles just like every other soul, male or female, that lived on my smelly, stinky, orange, old, rotten, messy, busted cul-de-sac between . This is because she memorizes the questions. Back to the original topic! Couldn't you just stick some jelly in a piecrust and bake it? (Like alternate dimensions and stuff) So, there is a world where you are the creator of this Longest Text Ever. if you like our Facebook fanpage, you'll receive more articles like the one you just read! You remember my Moose's arch-enemy, don't you? Seeya. There's salt, of course, and aluminum sulfate, and other compounds. I don't have much of a choice about the whole work thing. Why, because they assume it's better quality. Maybe you'll break free. An enemy so dangerous that Moose fears it above all others. It was inspired, in part, by my sheer and utter boredom. OH, SO SPLENDID!! The Patron Saint of Paper Clips in no way wishes harm on your computer. CEASE YOUR FLATULENT WINDS AND HEAR MY MIND NUMBING EXPULSIONS OF WICKED NOISE! Number Five: I could have read more books, played more video games and watched more mindless television. I'm goin' light on the advertising at the moment, which is why I'm free to write here. #1You can say or do anything and normal people will agree with you in the hopes that you'll be satisfied, shut up, and go away. well never know but oh crap its starting to snow and its time to show and tell about the well that you found last summer at camp when it was damp it was near the ramp oh god why must this be I liked that tree but now its gone, farewell so long Ill miss you as long as you write but then Im afraid to say good-night. Then they add other "stuff" in to make it TASTE pure. One person, started typing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue typing it forever just because this is the list that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some person started typing it notetc, etc. That's exactly what tanning is like. This confirmed my suspicion that she only went so that she could have the use of the church's playground equipment. THen we go to library. I'm so very, very tired. THAT IS ALL. I can't believe I'm bothering to do this. But then, I'm meand you're you. With an infinite universe, there are infinite possibilites. I hadn't had a genuine sugar rush since I was 11. Maybe I should just give up. Wouldn't pure water TASTE pure, and impure water TASTE impure? And almost never finish. I'm not sure how I CAN be brief since I have absolutly nothing to say. This is too frustrating. That way I can just outlaw the need for gravity and air pressure! Just like a real psychologist. I'm not exactly sure who they are, but: thanks! *reader starts inching towards freedom* I better goI think that I may have a problem brewing. I can even see the Official Flaming Chicken Rocket. Yeah. I HAVE POWERS PINTO BEANS CAN ONLY DREAM OF! But people buy name brands. Or what if you took big ol' slobbery licks? It's great for making random topics weave together to form an overall infrastructure of chaos. She promptly borrowed $1 to help with the waitresses tip(This part I'm not being sarcastic about) All in all it was a night I'll remember forever (as the lowest point in "family outing"history, except for that time my mom dragged me to a church thing on the concept of truth.) Subscribe!function(m,a,i,l,s,t,e,r){m[s]=m[s]||(function(){t=a.createElement(i);r=a.getElementsByTagName(i)[0];t.async=1;t.src=l;r.parentNode.insertBefore(t,r);return !0}())}(window,document,'script','https://www.openculture.com/wp-content/plugins/mailster/assets/js/button.min.js','MailsterSubscribe'); 2006-2023 Open Culture, LLC. NowI know what you guys are thinkingsome of those items on that list are gonna be hard to find. It was one of my friends. Shoot them down like the dogs they are! and Jones: Sho, Kernel; sho now and catching him as he fell and commandeering the first passing wagon to take him to the house and carry him up the front steps and through the paintless formal door beneath its fanlight imported pane by pane from Europe which Judith held open for him to enter with no change, no alteration in that calm frozen face which she had worn for four years now, and on up the stairs and into the bedroom and put him to bed like a baby and then lie down himself on the floor beside the bed though not to sleep since before dawn the man on the bed would stir and groan and Jones would say, flyer I am, Kernel. "Lots of death, lots and lots of death in this section. This, of course would expand the market for such products. I'd rather drink the "impure" tap water where at least I KNOW that someone, somewhere tested it. They're disgusting, bland and definitly not made of cheez, whatever that is. | 13.63 KB, JSON | *blinks* Wowso I'm NOT paranoid. Very difficult equation Math Forum . It's bad enough to go to school, leave school, go to work, leave work, do homework and then wait for my dad to get off of the computer so that I can do stuff. Waitaren't I already doing that? And the preceding generations became brain-washed (possibly through subliminal messages in sun-tan lotion commercials) to believe tans were expected. Emma Taggart is a Contributing Writer at My Modern Met. Only if I had multiple personalities. But I can't help but think of stuff like the evil over lord list and REALLY REALLY BIG BUTTON THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING. Today we had a "family outing." Come on all you non-existing people! That will be a wonderous day. Reading requires perseverance, but once you get into the flow, its like dipping into Faulkners stream of consciousness. I have readers. On the way home, we had gotten approximatly 4 hours into the trip when my mother predicatably decided that we had to go back and eat at the 50th aniversary of her favorite ice cream place. Today, I took a long look at this site, which is the acomplishment of almost a year of work. | 14.35 KB, We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. Now, a long time ago, people were sort of smarter. c)I have an extremly irrational fear of that. Maybe they're here right now! I know a topic! I even impress myself. theni got to go stand while people said a lot of stuff. Longest math problem copy and paste We'll provide some tips to help you choose the best Longest math problem copy and paste for your needs. It's not fair. It sucked. You just let me rant on and on for you KNEW that eventually I would confuse myself with my vast puddle of knowledge. THe cake was good. I think. You people sicken me. Number Six: I could have implemented one of several plans for world domination. I just can't seem to stop, though. And then the quality will go down and the vicious spiral of good and bad will continue untill I either give up this text, or go crazyer. 8 min ago So, I've decided that Moose works for some secret government organization, and that the feather is the key to the destruction of the world, and I am just blithely letting it enter our home, so that it may furthur its evil plans to destroy the universe. And John F. Kennedy (JFK) was an alien bent on global domination. Happy? And I don't really have a topic today. So, we packed everthing up. Speaking of food, what's up with pie? Is that too much to ask? You'd have to find the end, of course. For instance, I wrote: "I am the Crazy Taco! I was almost completly covered in (fake) bloodit was sticky toward the end. I think. She was upset, because she had accidently run over an armidillo. I'm leavingnow I'm back! Now, you may be wondering what is so terrifying about a small, white, feather. It really lets me get to know you. There may also be evil little links that are designed to confuse you. After a horrific chain of events (is it coincidence, or fate) the people who will deactivate the secondary power source of the building Neo is infiltrating, die. Whole families would gather around their front door, in breathless anticipation while they attempted to barracade me out. I'm a genius. This naturally alarmed the HECK out of me! I won't be able to feed my various imaginary pets and friends their beloved imaginary food! It's amazing, it's incredible, it's unbelievable. I usually have less than 30 minutes. And on to:#4You make your friends look normal in comparison. So he kept her out of the Matrix, and she saw the problem, and entered the Matrix to fix it. and eat dinner. I don't know if Iraq even existed in the Civil War Era! But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. TACO will eventually destroy him. Unless, of course, the government was smart enough to have cameras without the blinkie light. My mother tried to order a mushroom-swiss burgeronly to discover that the place had no swiss-cheese. Soif you wish to contribute to this great and magneficent and magestic and MOOSEY projectwe need the following things: 739 rolls of aluminium foil (preferably the extra shiny kind) 417 refridgerator boxes, 9000 rolls of "sticky on both sides" duct tape, 300 lbs of chicken feathers (preferably white) and 1 (one) thermo-nuclear-rocket-thruster. That is the only possible explanation as to why it upsets her so much. Otherwise, I guess you're stuck with me. I mean, I don't think I could afford a monkey, and I'm not exactly on the streets. At one point, I read an article that stated that it had been proven, conclusivly, that Kansas was flatter than the standard pancake. I fought with vegitables, covered myself in bubble wrap, groveled before the Great Banana and dodge skittles and flying doughnuts and rubber chikens. I'm sure some so called "scientist" can prove all my theories wrongbut how? Oh, yeah! With a specific number of words. Not even my friends*sniffle* The just ignore this poor, pathetic little page. If the universe is infinite it would be crazy to think that we're alone. Maybe. My entire family is weird. Here is the sum total of my group's work. I only know that I'm entertaining me, which was my original goal. responsible for any faulty wiring or lack thereof in your computer. (There's probably drugs in it). But you'd never prove it was infinite. *gagged reader glares* What's that? Jonathan Coe's new novel - The Rotters' Club - contains a sentence of 13,955 words. If I told you, I'd have to kill you and all that stuff. Not neat little text in classifiable rows, in alphabetical order. The possibilities are literally endless. At least her's makes sensesort of. But true. Okay, quote is done. *pauses* Oh. I put hyphens in both of his titlesit must be a conspiracy! So the (smallest number) + (middle number) = (largest number) The number 3, 4 and 5 satisfy this condition 3 + 4 = 5 because 3 = 3 x 3 = 9 4 = 4 x 4 = 16 5 = 5 x 5 = 25 and so . The first part of the trip was fairly easy. It's a sad, cold, cruel world out there and you had nothing to relieve the monotony of it. Ketchup: The only food that you'll want to eat after traveling to the 5th Dimension. Below is an example of a reply email stating that you have received the email. THey might havve been important, but we keep forgetting them. I'M FINE! That sounds good, too. Why, you ask? And I congratulate any reader who has gotten this far. what I fear comes right after here not this life or the next will I ever be able to pass the test? If that happens, then no one will read this. Make your wife happy by sending her any of these romantic long paragraphs here. Now I want all you loyal fans*cricket chirps* to go to the link to see what I'm like. I'm sorry that my last few entries have been only about my various family antics. It looks right. Ooooothats a great idea! That was sort of a topic, even though it was sort of random. If you judged everything by what it doesn't acomplish, then the entire world is populated by pointless beings. Otherwise, why on earth (beta, krpto, zkdjf, Planet X, whatever) would you be here? I thought of a topic on the way home, but forgot it. Sure, some of this "fasion" stuff is cool and all, but all it shows is that you had the three and three-quarters brain cells required to copy someone else's "look". I was alerted to this growing problem in our world community by (Kat, the ruler of all that is almondy)and it greatly concerns me. Now who's the crazy one? If you can sleep through a raging fire, close enough to set off the smoke detector, then you are definitly going to sleep through the smoke detector. They are the samething, with the same look, and almost same name. It's called Hit-Or-Miss, any topics, plot, etc. I'm back. Now I can think. I see your EVIL plot now, Hypothetical Reader! This is a test, I repeat only a test. For, you seemy life long goal has been fufilled*anticipatory silence*THERE ACTUALLY IS GRAPE PIE!!!! by the time I had to do my part (tell people where to stand before getting their diploma) it was dark. I'm back. The stupid game is still going on and I refuse to quit because I want my points. Was it on purpose, or was it just some mistake? Did you know, that Kodak was part of the conspiracy to assasinate John F. Kennedy. And let me tell you, it's an outrage. The Blah Story by Nigel Tomm contains the longest known sentence in the English language. Your subconsious mind acts on whatever it is told. The single greatest invention of the computer gods. Back to the present. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. I'm back. No one is really coming here, anyway. Dum-B-Gon stimulates brain activity, making you up to 10 times smarter! With knowledge you can win money and the opportunity to look like a dork on national television. This sentence makes strategic use of the past perfect, two times. Plus, the kids at the daycare (where I work, obviously) say that I'm "cool to talk to". You cannot follow the vast, mind-boggling logic that is ME! I just don't know. The last day, we were deciding where to eat. That's what they need to do with the water. Help me! What an eccentric idea! Kinda like me and "Meg" webcomic we are trying to do. Who would have thought I have this much free time? It's creepy. Completly defeated, I told her that it was the religion she practiced every Sunday when she went with her friends to church. Are you happy? No guarantee that he'll succeed in saving Trinity. Okay. Ooooooo! That meant that my mother would be in the back, with me and my younger, eviler sister.
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